Entries for June, 2006

June 9th, 2006
All in good time.
bletz @ 01:13 PM
Well. I can't help it, but I have to rant some more. I swear, this LJ is just an outlet of my anger and frustration, and sadness, if anything. Ohwell..You tell me you want to be with me. You're sad because we're separated and will be for the rest of the year. I am too. I am A LOT sad. So I suggest a solution that will both relieve us of our current misery. And you don't want to do it. Instead, you want *ME* to do it. You want *ME* to take the proverbial bitter pill. My only question is, if you love me as much as you say you do, as much as you tell me so, then why don't *YOU* make the effort for us to be together? Why do *I* have to do it? Why am I ALWAYS the one taking steps to be with you? WITH ALL OF YOU*. YOU* always tell me that you love me, miss me, don't want me to be gone forever, will miss me greatly if i go away. And yet, these very strong feelings of yours do not translate into actions. Not at all. You love me and yet....I don't feel it. Much. Or maybe...it's because I love you A WHOLE LOT MORE than you love me. And that's what hurts, I guess. Oh well, it's just one more of those things that I will have to learn to deal with, huh? And I will, eventually. I'll learn to deal. It just gets old, you know? And maybe one day I might just up and leave. And maybe be a better person because of it? All in time, I guess.

For now though, I will not do anything to change this fate (Yes, fate. All this because of a room assignment. Haha.;P) that I have been handed. By golly, I WILL STICK IT OUT. I'm tired of battling with the world to be with YOU*. I was put there for a reason - reasons that maybe I don't understand nor fully appreciate at the moment. But I'll understand them soon enough, and maybe even be thankful for it.
listening to Vertigo
feeling contemplative
[ now for wrath ]

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